I want to apologize in advance for bursting any bubbles of parents who have adopted from this city, but at the same time I want people to understand what kind of city this is.
It’s not a nice city.
Even JP is having trouble adapting to her hometown. A friend of ours who has traveled all over China made the comment that the people in this city speak very sharply to one another. Even in casual conversation, they yell and insult one another, and pepper their speech with profanity, even when talking to children.
There’s an anger in this city that isn’t anywhere else I’ve seen in China. One of JP’s old neighbors saw EJ last night, and when he did not respond the way she liked, she slapped him (not playfully) on the leg and said something insulting that I couldn’t clearly make out. I told her not to hit my son, and she looked at me in shock that I would say such a thing. (JP has to constantly tell her family, including her mom, to stop hitting the boys.)
Last night, we went out to eat, and JP’s mom asked JP’s aunt a question that was very insulting to JP. As we walked home, we overheard one mother tell her child, “If you don’t get over here right now, I’m going to beat you to death” only in much more graphic terms. Then at the bottom of the stairs, some neighbors walked down, saw another neighbor child, and said, “Hello, you little blankety-blank.” She wasn’t upset at the kid, and was even playing with her while cussing at her and insulting her.
When we got upstairs, JP said, “I’ve got to get out of this city,” then asked if it was normal to hate one’s hometown.
There are nice people in this city, and we are living on the wrong side of the tracks, but the anger, yelling and insulting seems to be pretty consistent throughout the city. When someone is nice or courteous, it’s almost a shock.
To the parents who have adopted children from this city, all I can say is, “Thank you for rescuing that child. Care for her (or him). Never insult her. Help her to grow up in an atmosphere of love, not anger and hatred.”
cya