If you’ve been to China with kids, you probably know that the Chinese love to touch foreign kids. I took EJ out for a walk today while JP visited her 89-year old grandmother. As we walked along, a female shop owner who was busy at work a second before, came over and jerked 2-year old EJ around just to see the “cute foreign baby.”
The boys hate having strangers touch them, but when we went to visit their great-grandmother we explained that she is both blind and nearly deaf and that she would probably want to touch them, and that they had to let her. I was pleased that they did, but I’m sure it was because of the preparation given beforehand.
Tonight, however, we went to a bread shop. N and EJ were on the stroller, and the shop girls swarmed them, wanting to touch them and speak to them. There was a particularly obnoxious girl that kept wanting to touch them while they kept pulling away who asked, “Does he speak Chinese?” pointing to EJ.
“No.”
Pointing to N, “What about him?”
“No.”
And in a rude way, said, “Why not?”
I wanted to say, “They’ve only been here a week. Give them time.” but simply said, “They will.”
She later told a co-worker, “They don’t like me.”
I wanted to say, “Of course they don’t like you. You’re attacking them,” but kept it polite and said, “It’s not an American habit to have strangers touch you, and they’re not used to it.”
I was glad to leave the store.
But on the other side of the coin, there was one lady tonight who was absolutely fabulous with the kids.
Some of JP’s old classmates invited us out for supper tonight, so we had supper with a guy that works for the railroad, his wife and daughter, a brain surgeon, a policeman, his wife, daughter and 3 of his cop friends. Since they spoke the local dialect, most things went over my head. But the wife of the railroad guy had this gentle way about her that caused the boys to immediately trust her. She helped N with his food, then after eating went over and talked to the boys, with EC answering her Chinese questions in his limited Chinese vocabulary. At one point, I saw him hold up 6 fingers in response to one of her questions.
It was great to watch her with the boys.
JP’s family, especially her mom, wonder why the boys are so stand-offish and always pull away or hide from them. JP has tried to explain it’s the way they shout at the boys (which is just the way they talk here) and always try to touch them. JP has a neighbor friend that is like a little brother to her. Last week, after our arrival, he came down from CS where he’s studying to CZ to spend a week with us. The boys loved him. At first I thought it was just because he was a guy, but then I realized that it was due probably more to the fact that he’s so quiet and never “attacked them with adoration” as is so common here.
For the most part, the boys are settling in, even with all the major changes taking place. They don’t like the touching, but they enjoy playing with their cousins (children of JP’s cousins). They’re also asking more questions about Chinese, such as, “How do you say KFC in Chinese,” and what does “Yi Waiwai mean?” (great-aunt).
Life is good.